This could stop you from getting caught after smoking dope. Photo: MorePix

This could stop you from getting caught after smoking dope. Photo: MorePix

Police in Arlington, Virginia, have revealed that two physical education schoolteachers smoked cannabis in their office almost every day before the start of classes, using air freshener to mask the APPALLING STENCH. 25-year-old Luke Lloyd and 28-year-old Michael Diaddigo, both good-looking fellas, were arrested and charged with possession after police received an anonymous tip in November and, accompanied by dogs, executed search warrants upon the school and a car at around 9am on Friday 10 December 2017.

Ways to avoid discovery if you smoked cannabis

A second informant provided an audio recording of two men discussing how not to get caught after they smoked cannabis, which involved eye drops and hand lotion. Eye drops can be useful if dope consumption causes red eyes; cannabis decreases pressure in the inner eye, allowing blood vessels and capillaries to dilate, which is why cannabis counters glaucoma, where high pressure in the eye can damage vision. Recommended brands are Visine, Clear Eyes, Rohto V and Opcon A. The purpose of hand lotion might be to disguise the smell of dope, the downside being that it dries out the skin.

This was all “unusual”

Ashley Savage, a spokeswoman for Arlington County Police Department, commented that it was “unusual” for teachers to get up to this sort of thing on school grounds. The pair was suspended by Taylor Elementary School, a state school. A third teacher who went unnamed has been placed on administrative leave, but since drugs were found at his desk, which was in the same office as the offending pair, he clearly smoked cannabis and it’s obvious which way matters will go. Lloyd and Diaddigo will appear in court on Wednesday 13 December. According to the first informant, Diaddigo supplied other teachers with the drug, handing it over within school grounds. He was recently hired by the school after working part-time for two years at the Campbell and Tuckahoe primary schools, which are also in Arlington.

Harold Pellegreen, the school’s principal, wrote to parents, professing himself “shocked and dismayed” and specifying that the investigation did not relate, as far as he knew, to the teacher’s interactions with pupils; television news reported that pupils were unaware of these shenannigans. Pellegreen mentioned that counsellors will be visiting classes next week. Places at the school are much sought.

More drug-taking teachers

The month before, a 24-year-old high school English teacher in Indiana was escorted from her school in handcuffs after being filmed in a classroom snorting what seemed to be lines of cocaine but might have included heroin. Filming was accomplished by Will Rogers, a pupil, through the window of a locked classroom door at around 10:30am. Police were called an hour later. The teacher, Samantha Cox, was in her second year at the school and quite popular. Another high school teacher, this time in the Bronx, was found dead in a school bathroom, seemingly from an overdose, as there was drug paraphernalia and an envelope containing an unknown substance beside his body.

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