disneyland cannabis
He banned cannabis, the BASTARD. Photo: Jeff Christiansen

He banned cannabis, the BASTARD. Photo: Jeff Christiansen

Medical marijuana is permitted in the US states of California and Florida, while California accepts recreational use, too. There are 29 states that allow medical marijuana and eight that allow it recreationally. News now comes that Disney banned all cannabis from its resorts, Disneyland in southern California and Disney World in Orlando, Florida.

On Thursday 4 May 2017, it was admitted that Disney banned cannabis in the shape of an update to Disneyworld’s website. Disneyland followed suit later that day. At least Disney distinguishes between cannabis and hard drugs, which is better than the federal government.

Drones, over-large prams and suitcases, skateboards, rollerblades and weapons have long been banned at Disney resorts. Alcohol is not allowed to be brought in but can be purchased. Disneyland is billed as “the happiest place on Earth,” although this development led High Times to label it “the lamest place on Earth.” You’re bound to be incredibly happy as you stand in a queue for a ride for three hours, being entertained by zombified workers paid $6.90 an hour to don a costume.

But isn’t medical marijuana allowed in California and Florida?

Disney banned all cannabis, be it for medical or recreational purposes. A Disney spokeswoman explained that while California, Florida and other states allow cannabis usage, it’s illegal under federal laws. Melissa Brit, Disneyland’s media communications manager, proclaimed, “The answer is the same for both coasts and we are in the process of updating the park rules.”

Medical marijuana in Florida was legalised under Amendment 2 in 2016, where previously it was permitted only for the terminally ill; Amendment 2 passed with more than 70 percent support. Possession of more than 0.7 ounces (a nice round 20 grammes if you go metric) of cannabis is a felony. Matt Morgan, an attorney in Orlando who campaigns for cannabis legalisation and did so for Amendment 2, admitted that medical marijuana might cause nuisance to the public but there could be problems if people’s personal belongings were searched, turning up a vaporizing pen, which is effectively no different from an oxycontin pill. Most medical marijuana users take the drug as a drop under the tongue, while others use tinctures, topicals or edibles. Morgan does at least believe Disney’s prohibition might not stand: “All businesses are going to have to adapt and amend with society as this issue plays out.”

You won’t want to meet Mickey Mouse if you have cancer, depression, kidney failure, Crohn’s disease, epilepsy, HIV, post-traumatic stress disorder, brain damage, a brain tumour, arthritis, Tourette’s syndrome or Alzheimer’s disease

Now that Disney banned cannabis, you’d better not go to the happiest place on Earth if you suffer from cancer, depression, kidney failure, Crohn’s disease, epilepsy, HIV, post-traumatic stress disorder, brain damage, a brain tumour, arthritis, Tourette’s syndrome or Alzheimer’s disease. (Read about it here.) You can register your UTTER DISGUST with Disney at its World Help Center. It would be better to go to Yosemite, a national park that has no such restriction.

It probably wouldn’t have been a joint, anyway

Smoking was already prohibited at all but designated smoking areas.

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