drug dealer advice
Will you be getting medical advice from the person who gets you this? Photo: m a n u e l

Will you be getting medical advice from the person who gets you this? Photo: m a n u e l

Inspired by US medical cannabis companies, drug dealers in the United Kingdom are attempting to gain advantage over their competition by providing different strains of cannabis to deal with different ailments. One Birmingham-based producer and dealer has been issuing medical advice since spring, 2017.

He’s a gardener, a salesman and a debt collector, and now he’s a doctor, too

The 28-year-old drug dealer lacks any formal qualifications in the field (and probably all others, too), but, hey, he has the internet. He declared that with cannabis allowed for medicinal purposes in a growing number of countries, it is wise for him to know everything there is to know about the drug. He protested that he is not only a gardener but a salesman and a debt collector, so one more profession under his belt was no big deal.

How he got there

This gent explained that customers are forever telling him their problems in the hope of getting lower prices or escaping a debt. One informed him of his back pain, so he supplied him with Lemonade, a form of skunk – stronger cannabis – which the customer believed did him good.

Time to go online

This prompted the drug dealer to go online to learn more, for instance which cannabis is best for period pain. There’s no end to such websites, which detail just what cannabis is right for which illnesses: “So I just follow their advice. It is not rocket science, it is just selling weed.” He has a variety of strains of skunk. Gorilla Glue, another variant, is recommended for insomnia “because it knocks you out.” What he reads is supported by research, so he can trust it. He can look forward to increases custom from people who wish to avoid a stroke or suffer from arthritis, Alzheimer’s, brain damage, brain tumours, cancer, Crohn’s disease, depression,
epilepsy, obsessive compulsive disorder, migraines, post-traumatic stress disorder, Tourette’s syndrome and all sorts. Or if their dog is upset by fireworks.

One more benefit

The drug dealer has experienced the benefit of having older people purchasing from him, which he prefers because they’re less likely to seek to rob him.

And he isn’t the only one

A 55-year-old veteran drug dealer had been telling folk of the medical uses of cannabis for years and was “written off as a hippy” by fellow dealers. In the 1990s, one of his customers had multiple sclerosis. With countries allowing medical marijuana and raking in much tax, he sees the United Kingdom going the same way, and he wishes to be prepared: “We cannot let all the corporations and companies like Boots take over a market that we have been supplying for years.”

This is the way of the future

After a number of US states legalised medical marijuana, the production of cannabis has become more professional, and several cannabis companies are listed on the stock market. Four recently named by Investopedia as top marijuana stocks to watch are AbbVie, Corbus Pharmaceuticals, Insys Therapeutics and Scott’s Miracle Gro. Marijuanastocks.com listed 98 companies that had “made our radar.”

Hey, let’s export cannabis

Previous article

Cannabis farms destroyed in California wildfires

Next article

More in Culture